“I think I’ve figured it out.”

This phrase is all but banned in my household. It’s my fault, I use it too much. And when I utter those six words for the tenth time in a day, I’m certain, deep down in my bones, that I’ve really figured it out this time. I’VE GOT IT. I’ve solved the puzzle.

I am wrong 100% of the time. But that never stops me from thinking “I’ve figured it out” again and again.

Exhibit A: see above photo. That’s my husband sitting outside one of my “I’ve figured it outs.”

During this time, we were participating in local art shows. We “figured it out.” If I showed my paintings where people actually went to buy art, we’d make a killing.

We were wrong. Boy, howdy, were we ever.

I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand why there wasn’t a line of people begging to buy my paintings.

In my delusions, the crowds were wild.

“Calm down, everyone!” I yelled to my adoring fans. “There’s enough art for everyone, just be patient!”

Why wasn’t this happening? I couldn’t figure it out.

But then…guess what?

I figured it out.

It was because we didn’t have any paintings hanging on the outside of our booth. They were all hidden inside. How could anyone know what greatness lay within if they couldn’t see it?

“Don’t you understand?” I manically rambled to my husband. “We’re so stupid! They can’t see the paintings! We have to hang them on the outside to bring people in. They’ll see them from far away and come running! Let’s goooooo!”

I started rearranging paintings frantically so I wouldn’t miss another potential sale. This one had to go here, that one there, this was going to be great. This was it. Finally, I’d sell some paintings. This was my ticket.

Michael went along with it, though part of him was probably starting to wonder.

And so we arrive at the photo above.

“Oh, this is perfect,” I said. “Let me get a picture of you before the huge crowd shows up. This is amazing. This is it. I’ve really figured it out this time.”

Do I even need to ask if you think I sold a single painting that day?