I’ve been working on this painting for a while, but it hasn’t really improved much in the last month. I could probably work on it for a few more months and it would still feel the same. I don’t consider it finished, but I also don’t see it going much further. That being said, this painting holds a very special place in my heart. I’m thinking of calling it “Stress Balls” (you know the balls you squeeze when you’re stressed)?

I live a peaceful life and try not to let in a lot of stress. Every once in a while, life does what it does, and stress knocks on the door. And when that happens, I’m reminded of how out of practice I am with dealing with it, as well as my emotions surrounding it. If I had a wild and crazy life, I’d probably be a pro at dealing with stress, but I don’t, so I’m clueless. Recently, some stress came into my life. Nothing major, no big deal at all, just regular old stress that would probably be next to nothing for most people. I took particular notice though, of how hard it was for me to process. I was walking around my house like a robot on the fritz… “can’t compute, can’t cogitate”. I couldn’t focus. Music, audiobooks, distractions, none of them were working.

Eventually a quiet inner voice suggested, “Why don’t you go into the studio and work on that grape painting?” I thought, “well, that’s pretty random but why not give it a try”. So I went into the studio, pulled this painting out, and started working on it. Almost immediately the stress began to dissipate and I began to feel relief. It was incredible. The thoughts were still there, but they started moving in and out, flowing instead of sticking. Minute by minute, the stress eased. I paint all the time. I know painting helps me. But I’ve never really felt it happen in real time like this. I’ve never sat down at the easel specifically BECAUSE I was stressed, and felt the stress dissolve so quickly.

I don’t think it would have worked with just any painting. Some paintings are complicated and create stress of their own. This one didn’t. It’s not a commission, there’s no end point in sight, no real expectation. Just color, shape, repetition, almost like a meditation.

I don’t think I’ll ever finish this one. I’ll probably just keep it off to the side and come back to it when I need it. My own little set of “stress balls.”

I’ve always intuitively known that art is therapy. But this painting in particular made me witness just how true that is for me. I’m extremely lucky (and grateful) that I get to paint every day. Otherwise I would probably be a basket case lol.

Art = Therapy. An adult coloring book, doodling, crocheting, a random painting of grapes, ANY kind of art equals therapy. Just my opinion. 🎨

Oil on canvas, 16” x 20”