“You know, you haven’t written in a while.”

My husband looks at me with pure judgment in his eyes.

“At least two weeks now.”

You know when you’re young and there’s that one kid in school, the tattletale, the know-it-all? That’s what my husband’s tone reminds me of.

“I know,” I say. “No one ever really reads what I write anyway.”

“It’s a waste,” he scolds.

So, I dedicate today’s writing to you, honey.

Ring, ring.

I look at my phone.

“Hi honey,” I say.

“You sound really weird,” he says.

“Ummmmmm…”

“Anyway,” he continues. “I need you to get a painting ready to donate to tomorrow’s shoot. It’s for the Boy Scouts fundraiser. Do whatever you have to do, varnish, backing, whatever.”

“Okay,” I squeal (yes, squeal) with delight. I’ve been on a “give-as-many-paintings-away-as-I-can-before-my-husband-tries-to-stop-me” kick. A little painting giveaway on TikTok turned into a slightly bigger painting giveaway on TikTok, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I literally suggested, just the other night, that we hand out paintings to random people on the street, and I still think it’s the best idea ever.

My husband does not agree.

“Which painting do you want?” I ask.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “You pick. Could be a candle, flower, landscape, doesn’t matter. Just have it ready for tomorrow.”

“Okay, love you, bye.”

I sit back, relax my mind, and start figuring out the best painting to donate. Obviously, an abstract won’t work. A portrait won’t work. The landscapes I’m working on are too new. I do have a couple of smaller candle paintings, but I think I should save those for future TikTok giveaways because they’re cheaper to ship.

I have a ton of 16”x20” flowers. I start flipping through them. Hmmmmm… and then I see it. The sunflower. I love that painting. Sunflowers are popular, bright, and recognizable. It practically jumps out from the black background. It’s noticeable. I choose the sunflower.

I spend time varnishing it, adding backing, and touching up the sides. I wrap it safely in glassine paper, bubble wrap, and cardboard. I even consider making handles on the cardboard so it’s easier to carry, but nix that idea. By the time he comes home, it’s wrapped and ready. I put it in his truck.

“The painting’s all ready for tomorrow,” I tell him. “I chose the sunflower.”

He rolls his eyes.

“Of course you did.”

“What?” I ask. “It’s a good painting. It’s a great choice.”

Side note: I’m normally not the best at choosing paintings for giveaways (or anything, really). I paint so many different subjects that I never know what fits where. I usually pass that task off to someone else.

“You said to pick what I wanted. You said it could be a flower.”

“I know, I know,” he says. “But it’s the Boy Scouts. I was thinking a candle or something. Not a flower.”

Now I roll my eyes, remembering him specifically telling me a flower would work.

“Fine,” I say. “I have a really nice candle that’ll work. And it’s already varnished.”

Time passes.

“You know what? Just take both,” I say.

“They don’t want both.”

“Then give one away to someone else at work. Leave it in the guide’s room or something with a sign that says Free Painting.”

Like I said, I’ve been on a giveaway kick.

(For context, the guide’s room is basically the break room where his people at work gather).

He rolls his eyes, again.

“I’m not putting a painting in the guide’s room.”

“Give the Boy Scouts both then.”

“They don’t want both, only one.”

“Just try it. If not the Boy Scouts, find someone else to give it to.”

He rolls his eyes…yet again. What’s with all the eye rolling?

He took both paintings with him this morning. What’s he going to do? Any guesses?

If it were me, I’d donate both paintings to the Boy Scouts. If they only wanted one, I’d let them pick, then subtly hang the other in his workplace. Just sneak it into a corner. No one would even notice. And if that didn’t work, I’d still find someone to give it to.

But since it’s my husband, my money’s on this: he’ll completely ignore my beautiful sunflower painting, leave it wrapped in his truck, and only donate the candle. When he gets home tonight, I’m almost 100% sure he’ll hand me back a carefully wrapped sunflower painting, untouched, unloved, and unappreciated.

Anyone want to bet?

We will see.

And by the way…to everyone else but my husband…which do you think would have made the better donation to the Boy Scouts fundraiser, the sunflower or the candle?