This 16x20” oil on canvas is a self-portrait I painted in 2008, shortly after moving from Kauai to Phoenix. I had just left behind a beautiful life and close friendships on the island, and while I was trying to embrace the excitement of a new place, I was struggling emotionally. I was in a deeply unhealthy relationship, one filled with broken promises and growing despair. This portrait was my way of capturing that moment of quiet collapse: the sadness, the loneliness, and the stuckness that sinks in just before a breaking point.

Looking at it now, I see a woman on the verge of transformation. Though I didn’t know it then, this was the beginning of the end of that chapter. We eventually broke up, and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made. I’m now happily married, and this painting serves as a reminder of how far I’ve come, and how art has always helped me process pain and move forward.